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Armor of God Satire: Angels Carry Swords, Not Flowers

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Abba, I Put On the Whole Armour of God and Immediately Picked a Fight With My Cousin

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Satire. Gentle, and aimed at all of us.

Abba, I saw a quote this week: “Not everything can be resolved through kindness, which is why angels carry swords, not flowers.” It’s quite possible that C. S. Lewis said it, but it’s also possible that someone’s Pinterest board did. Either way, I took it as a personal commission. Then I opened Ephesians 6 and found out you had already issued me a full kit of armour.

⚔️ Ephesians 6:10-11: Be Strong, Put On the Armour

You said to be strong in you, Abba, not strong in my opinions. I skimmed that part, and I was already reaching for the helmet.

⚔️ Ephesians 6:12: Not Against Flesh and Blood

This is the verse I keep skipping. I drew my sword on my cousin’s post about pineapple on pizza. Your verse says my cousin is not the enemy. Neither is pineapple on a pizza, though I am still thinking about whether people in Hawaii actually eat it.

⚔️ Ephesians 6:13-14a: Stand, and Fasten the Belt of Truth

You said stand. Three times, actually. I have been sprinting. The belt of truth also covers the truth that Aunty’s atwan curry was fine, and I did not need to say otherwise at the table.

⚔️ Ephesians 6:14b: Breastplate of Righteousness

Your breastplate, Abba, not mine. I kept trying to wear my own. It fits badly just like Saul’s did for David, even though I was the only one who thought it looked good.

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⚔️ Ephesians 6:15: Shoes of the Gospel of Peace

The shoes were still in the car. Peace is the footwear, and I turned up to the battle barefoot and loud.

⚔️ Ephesians 6:16: Shield of Faith

The shield of faith is for the flaming arrows coming at me. I used it to block a friendly text from my old colleague. He only asked how I was. Well technically. In my defence, I’ll try to forget that he only pings when he has excessive favors to ask for.

⚔️ Ephesians 6:17: Helmet of Salvation and Sword of the Spirit

The only offensive piece in the whole kit, and it is your Word, not a 400-word comment starting with “Actually.” The angels carry swords because you sent them. Nobody sent me yet, Abba. Please file this under “noted.” (If you want the long version of what it means to be sent, I wrote about it in Abba, Spend Me.)

⚔️ Ephesians 6:18: Pray at All Times

The last item is not a weapon at all. It is prayer. Which means the armour was never about winning arguments. It was about staying close to you while the real fight happens somewhere I cannot see.

Some things cannot be settled by kindness alone, and I believe that. But your answer, Abba, is not a bigger sword. It is “stand,” and “pray at all times.” So I am going to be ready for battle like Nehemiah, but I’m going to sheath my sword for a bit, and I’m going to go find my shoes.

PS. If you want to go further than prayer, here are the different Christian fasts and what each one is for.

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Statue of an angel with a sword against a blue sky.
Kids in armor fighting, a funny take on the armor of God.
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